This trust-building habit takes every two seconds

Although self-confidence is not necessarily an inherent characteristic of many people, it is something you can develop with specific rituals and practices, such as reciting positive affirmations and giving yourself pep talks. Even swiping on your favorite lipstick can undoubtedly give you the motivation to conquer the day – another simple confidence-boosting habit worth adding to your toolbox: the high-five yourself.

Bestselling author Mel Robbins The 5 second rulerecently launched a new book aptly titled The High 5 habit: take control of your life with a small habit, which focuses on exactly that, the power to enhance your reflection in the mirror every day. Robbins says the potential side effects of implementing this habit into your routine include the elimination of negative thought patterns and — you guessed it — improved self-confidence. Although it might seem almost too simple and perhaps a bit silly, there is science to back it up. Studies have shown that high fives increase motivation and strength while lowering cortisol (aka the stress hormone) levels, so don’t kick it until you’ve tried it.

Up front, Robbins gives TZR the inside scoop on the benefits of high-fiveting yourself, how it works, and how to put it into practice to experience the confidence-boosting result for yourself.

How to practice the high-five yourself

While we’ll assume you know the basics of high-fives, there are a few tips and tricks for maximizing the habit’s effectiveness. First, when should it be done? Robbins recommends high-fiveing ​​yourself every day right after brushing your teeth in the morning. “When you combine a new habit with an old one, it’s easier for your brain to model it,” she says. In this case, the habit of brushing your teeth will prompt you to remember to give yourself a high five.

To do this, Robbins asks to stand in front of a mirror and recognize that the person looking at you needs your support and encouragement. Then raise your hand, while maintaining your gaze in the mirror, and give your reflection a high-five. Simple! Yes, it might sound a little weird, says Robbins, but you’ll get used to it quickly after a few times.

Additionally, the high five habit is also a tool you can implement throughout the day and use whenever you feel stressed, even when there is no mirror in sight. Robbins refers to this version as “high-five your heart”. To practice it, press your hands to the center of your chest. Robbins explains that this is where the vagus nerve passes and by pressing on the area you can essentially turn off the sympathetic nervous system (the flight or fight response associated with stress) and activate the parasympathetic nervous system (the system nervous at rest) making you feel more grounded and in control. Hands on heart, Robbins recommends repeating this mantra: “I’m fine. I’m safe. I’m loved.”

The Benefits of High-Five Yourself

According to Robbins, there are three main benefits to clapping your hands every day as part of your morning ritual. First, you’ll get an instant drop of dopamine, the chemical that helps improve mood. You’ll also get a jolt of energy when you do because the nervous system is wired to associate high-fives with party energy, Robbins says.

And, more importantly, she says, you’ll feel a sense of positivity because we have a neural association that connects high-fives with positive beliefs and positive encouragement. “All of the programming that explains the benefits is already stored in your brain, your nervous system, and in your physiology because of the lifetime you’ve spent receiving or giving high fives to other people,” Robbins says. “The physical action of the high-five triggers all of that positive programming that’s stored in your subconscious mind to marry with your own reflection. It’s neurologically impossible to stand in front of a mirror and high-five yourself and think something negative.”

After incorporating this habit, Robbins adds, usually within days you will feel your mood change and your energy shift and begin to develop a better relationship with yourself. “It breaks the habit of self-rejection [and] self-criticism,” she says. “It reprograms your brain with all of the positive programming related to the high five — encouragement, celebration, support, love.”

Essentially, by clapping your hands every day, whether it’s in the morning or whenever you need a boost, says Robbins, the act communicates to you that you love and accept yourself, and that you encourage you no matter where you are in life. , your appearance or what you have accomplished. “It reframes your belief system about who you are,” she says. “Your brain is also starting to go, whoa, wait a minute. You’re not criticizing the person in the mirror. We’re celebrating them now. So you’re going to feel more encouraged. You’re going to feel connected. You’re going to feel like Build a bond of trust and a partnership with yourself. And frankly, it will feel like coming home, coming back to yourself.

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